I walked into the bathroom to find Number 2 proudly balancing his penis over the toilet with one hand, brushing his teeth with the other, while happily spitting his foam-induced salvia over his stream of urine. Number 1 found this hysterical and was cheering him on. I, however, simply turned around, pulled the door close, and told them had two minutes before bed.
The closed door and Number 2’s stunned face at my lack of reaction erupted a sea of giggles that echoed behind the thick wooden door.
Somedays you’re just too tired to have the “no brushing your teeth over your urine” fight. So you ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist. And then, after the bed fight and your relaxing glass of wine, the image pops back into your mind and you can’t help but smile and laugh. You know that your husband will appreciate this moment, so you share it with him. You laugh in unison.
You also find yourself overcome with a sense of pride. You note that strong balance Number 1 held. He kept his urine and his toothpaste inside the bowl. You smile at yourself and shrug in pride of his cleanliness. You’re satisfied with the night and find yourself snuggling into your bed with a smile.
Yet, you fail to realize the battle you will face tomorrow. The array of toilet talents will need to be monitored. The teeth brushing routine you’ll need to stand in on. And, there’s Number 2. He’ll definitely want to imitate Number 1 and he won’t be as balanced. So get your rest and enjoy your treasured memory. For from here on in, your life will forever be shackled to toilet monitoring for the fear of pee anarchy.